5:32pm

I made a seating plan for my wedding today. Save your felicitations- it’s not for another three years. And I haven’t actually been proposed to yet. But there is a man on the scene and he has expressed an interest in settling down one day, albeit in a different time zone from me. But it doesn’t harm to be organised.

Limiting family and friends to 120 guests was easier than I thought. I took immense pleasure in crossing old enemies off the list, especially my boyfriend’s horrid French sister-in-law who made me sit of the floor the last time I was over at hers. All because I spilled a drop of red wine on her sofa EIGHT months prior to this. Bloody French and their impractical cream sofas. Someone needs to pull le baguette out of le arse.