Friday 11th September

DOADR is logging off for a week. This former receptionist will be sunning her generously padded and exceptionally dimpled seat at her exclusive villa in Ibiza.

My bags are packed, the latest tractor reviews are up to date, and a glass of rose awaits me at my friend's gaff in Clapham. Lily has requested 'something neon' as a souvenir. I told her if I can bring my sanity back with me, I've done well.

Glowstick at the ready, Ibiza, let's be 'avin it!